D: ------->10 miles of guilt<------- :D

"4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30" (4muddyfeet)
06/05/2016 at 21:01 • Filed to: None

I’ve had a long day seeing jobs and customers today, and on my way back home I realised I needed fuel for tomorrow so decided to make the short trek to my nearest 24 hour fuel station.

1AM, barreling along at 60 on an empty road in the Defender my headlights just picked out two hedgehogs walking nose to tail across the part of the road where my wheels wanted to be, and with no time to react I decided on an ‘evasive’ maneuver to try and save the little blighters.

A hedgehog

Now an evasive maneuver in a Defender is quite a thing to behold insofar that there really is no spectacle whatsoever, it sort of wallows at the front a bit while not particularly changing direction and the back decides to move about 2 seconds after the whole vehicle has lurched to one side. If you weren’t in the car to see the movement of the steering wheel you’d swear it had just been caught by a light breeze.

Now, I’ve always prided myself on knowing where the extremities of my vehicles lie and, particularly on the Defender, knowing the track width inside and out, and if I were a betting man I would’ve have put a lot of money on one of those poor hedgehogs being geography right now.

I got to the garage wracked with guilt and unknowing (I’m a sensitive guy), checked my RHS tyres for evidence (some damp spots but no spatter), bought fuel and Pepto Bismol (unrelated), and got back in the car worrying what I’d see on the way home.

I took it slowly past where I’d met the hogs, and to my surprise there was nothing there. No mess, no blood, no body, they made it! I swear that lead hedgehog must’ve been within a whiskers breadth of an impromptu meeting with General Grabber.

So I’m home now, the dogs have been walked, and I can go to bed with my mind at ease.

More hedgehogs to celebrate.

DISCUSSION (18)

Nibby > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
06/05/2016 at 21:06

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
06/05/2016 at 21:08

I've never hit an animal in a car, but the squirrels in my area make that record a challenge.

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
06/05/2016 at 21:12

I’ve hit a rabbit before but got over it fairly quickly because, well, they breed like rabbits. Hedgehogs though, couldn’t live with myself.

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > Nibby
06/05/2016 at 21:13

I would like to think that that started playing in their tiny little minds as soon as they saw the headlights.

Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
06/05/2016 at 21:15

I came the closest I’ve ever come to hitting a deer on Wednesday night. Biggest doe I’ve ever seen, still don’t know how I didn’t hit her.

ttyymmnn > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
06/05/2016 at 21:22

I used to work with a guy who had a pet hedgehog named Prick. True story.

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > ttyymmnn
06/05/2016 at 21:25

I believe it. My dad had two budgies called Twit and Twat.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
06/05/2016 at 21:39

I got a bird today. Stupid thing tried to fly from the center of the road across the front of my car instead of going across the other lane which was empty. Hit my passenger headlight and went straight up.

Funktheduck > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
06/05/2016 at 21:42

I've hit a couple squirrels. I've hit several birds head on and one owl that flew into the side of my car. I feel bad every time

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch
06/05/2016 at 21:43

Lucky. Deer can really mess you up.

Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
06/05/2016 at 21:48

Yeah, at 65 mph on a 2 lane with no shoulder it would’ve been real bad.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > TheTurbochargedSquirrel
06/05/2016 at 22:10

We hit a small bird with the radio antenna of an old Chevy work truck I was a passenger in last year... Split the thing in half it was gnarly. Lots of blood on the winshield.

A few months ago on an undivided 2-lane 65 mph road I just missed a loose chicken in the middle of the road only to see it get nailed by a Ranger in my rear view. Cloud of white feathers was all I could see.

TL;DR birds are dumb I'm surprised we don't hit more of them.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
06/05/2016 at 22:24

Some of the crows I saw on the way to the team o’neil rallysprint with my dad were dumb enough to force lane changes.

e36Jeff now drives a ZHP > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
06/05/2016 at 22:31

I long ago gave up attempting to dodge things small enough that they would do little to no damage to my car. I will brake as hard as I can for them, but I’m generally not going to swerve, unless I see them far enough out to do it safely.

I learned this lesson by almost going drivers door first into a school bus @50mph when I was 18 while attempting to dodge a red fox. Luckily the car caught that fishtail and I decided to not attempt to catch the next one so I went off towards the shoulder. I mostly cleared a 3 ft ditch sideways and just barely didn’t flip. It did roll about 35 degrees or so though, which was quite terrifying, as it was attempting to roll downhill. The car came to a rest with the back tires on a hill and the front bumper on the inside of the ditch, with the front wheels hanging in the air. Amazingly the sum total of the damage for this high speed sideways off roading was that I knocked both passenger side tires off the rims, forced gravel into the rear drivers side tire and folded the front license plate in half. e30's were made of some stern stuff.

Also, I hit the fox anyway. It did not survive the impact with my passenger door.

Die-Trying > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
06/05/2016 at 22:34

the folks here that go to drastic measures, are a whole lot nicer than iam. now dont get me wrong, im not out to get the high score on roadkill, but my life is worth a whole lot more than that of a critter. i like my truck more than the critters too. i have SEEN the aftermath of people swerving to avoid deer, and dogs, and other critters.

these days i might mash the brakes if im going straight, but around corners not so much.... yeah i try to miss stuff, but no heroics.

e36Jeff now drives a ZHP > Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch
06/05/2016 at 22:35

I’ve never hit a deer, but I’ve been in 2 cars that were hit by deer. Once as the driver, once as the passenger. The first one was in my Dad’s Audi 5000d, the deer came full speed perpendicular to the car, and jumped the hood as we were driving through the development we lived in. It clipped the passenger quarter panel with its back hoof as it went over the car.

The second was in my e36 328is. I saw the deer coming across a corn field and braked as hard as I could. I came to a complete stop as the deer hit the shoulder. It slowed to a slow walk, lowered its head and lightly head-butted the passenger side front quarter panel near the headlight, stumbled back a step, then walked around the front of the car.

Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch > e36Jeff now drives a ZHP
06/05/2016 at 23:15

They’re definitely not the smartest animals.

My bird IS the word > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
06/05/2016 at 23:40

Hedgehogs are illegal to own as pets in Pennsylvania. Depressing fact of the day.